I would say that the root cause of all misunderstandings is expectations. It is human nature to expect more than what he is getting now. Either you are not satisfied with your job profile or your salary or your organizations work culture. You expect them to get better. And once they get better, you expect them to get even better. There is no end to the amount of expectations.
It is same in relationships, you expect that your close ones grow up in life. That your wife takes care of you. And your wife would expect you to take care of her, of her emotions, of her will. You expect that your wife or your hubby has great personality in front of others. That others say that you two are a nice couple. You expect that you both listen to each other and respect each other. Etc.. Etc..
The expectations never end, and so neither does the issues or misunderstandings that come out of it.
And the best and simplest way to get out of this is “not to expect”. Wow, you would say – how is that possible. How can you not expect. How can you let go of your emotions. How can you say that “let things be as it is”.
It is the biggest thing to ask. But that is what the monks do. They just let go of their emotions. Lead a life where they dont care for anything. They meditate. Live with the bare minimum. And they are happy most of the times.
I dont know whether they believe in GOD or not. I dont. How can you believe something that you have not seen, not felt, not heard. Do you believe your friend if he says something odd. I wont. I will have to look at it to believe it. Oh, what would you say if i tell you that i met GOD yesterday. Would you believe me? No way… I think it is the same thing. People say that there is GOD, but where??
And then there is love. I think, i have written about it before. A feeling that cannot be defined. How can you expect something from someone you love. That is not love. That is possessiveness. You dont have expectations in love. All you intend is to give to the one you love. You take care of him/her. You forget and forgive all his/her mistakes. You want that person to be healthy. In all if you love someone, you would expect that person to be happy. And would do anything to make him/her happy. That i think is love.
So expectations dont come in between GOD(whom i dont believe in) and love. But in this materialistic world – you have to eat, you have to drink, and you have to live. And you have some materialistic/physical and emotional needs. And this is where expectations come in picture and they ruin everything.
Whenever you expect something from someone – you open a path to misunderstandings and issues.
Eventually everyone who is born has to die. Then why not make this miserable life happy for others and for self.