The big question : what is love??
And the important fact for people reading this blog : i am NOT in love… This is just a thought which i wanted to pen down or maybe blog down…
So returning back to the big question. what is love? how would you define love. Is it the relation between a mother and a child, where the mother cares for the child and vice versa. Or is it the feeling between a brother and a sister. It is said that they share a bonding of “love” and care for each other. Or is it the friendship between two friends. Both friends depend on each other for something or other. They just feel good when they are together. Or is it the relation between a boyfriend and a girlfriend, where there is passion sometimes with and sometimes without commitment. Or is it the relation between a husband and a wife – a lifelong relationship where there is commitment, passion, understandings and minunderstandings, small and major fights, caring and dependency upon each other.
Lets explore each of these relations and try to define love out of these. From what i have seen, people generally tell “i love you” to either their boyfriend or girlfriend. Love in this sense symbolyses passion. Dont you think so?
Well lets start from the mother/father who loves her/his child. From the day the baby is born, parents feed and take care of the baby. Fulfill all his desires and try to make a man out of him. Give him education, food, shelter. Take care of him when he is sick. This, i think is love. Though “i love you” is rarely exchanged in this relation. Still, why does the parent take so much care of the child. Because, you feel that the child is your part. You are the creator of the child, and it is your responsibility. This feeling leads to a type of love and bonding. Where the child demands and the parent fulfills. There are fights and misunderstandings, but they are overcome, because you are bound to live together and care for each other….
The relation between a brother and a sister is, i feel somewhat similar to that between two very good childhood friends, except for the fact that the brother and sister have to live together. Again the “bonding” comes into picture. Which makes this relation stronger than that between two very good friends. There is love over here too, born out of the need to share thoughts and exchange ideas. You love and care for your sibling. What about 2 friends? what i feel is that the “love” between two friends is very selfless and fragile. Small fights can break up friendship unless there is good understanding between the friends. Friendships break because there is no “bond” between the friends. Well, friends are people with whom secrets can be shared, the secrets, which, otherwise may be considered “bad” in the family. Friends are people with whom you can form groups to accomplish something in life. You would never say “i love you” either to your sibling or your friend. Well, in some cases an “i love you” to a friend can break the friendship and hearts. So avoid it. Though sharing an “i love you” with your sibling would ofcourse matter and make the relation stronger.
Now lets come to the most important section of “i love you”. The one between a boy friend and a girl friend. The boyfriend keeps on saying “i love you” to the girlfriend and vice versa. They generally become possessive of each other. There are cases where fights break out and there are broken hearts. Or one of them starts liking someone else and ditches the other. Whoa, yes there is a “love” between then but then again there is no “bonding” between them to keep the love, and hence them together. But of-course, there are lots of cases where boyfriend and girlfriend have a “love marriage” and live a very happy life.
Moving ahead lets come to the “love” between a husband and a wife. Well, there is commitment and the need to share the same life. To create a new life. There is a bonding between them that they should stay together – no matter what. Well, though in various cases, this bonding goes for a toss and they do separate. But we are dealing with ideal situations over here. Their life starts with passion and lust and moves to caring and understanding and then to parenthood and responsibilities. Do they love each other. Well, cant say. Newly married couples would say “i love you” maybe once every hour. And after ten years, the same couple would talk to each other maybe once in a day and that too for just 5-10 minutes. They still stay together and care for each other, but where has the “love” gone? Dont look like that at me. Even i dont have an answer to that. I am still unmarried and still have to experience all these things….
So from all the above relations what can be derived regarding the definition of love? Is love simply passion? NO… Is it caring and understanding? Well, maybe, but not completely. Then what is love?
I, myself am unsure about the definition. But just for the records i would simply pen down what i think love is. Or maybe what i believe, ideally love should be.
Love is an invisible bonding. A feeling of togetherness. Strengthened by trust, understanding and caring. Love is something which cannot be expressed, but only felt.
If you love someone, you would care for that person. You would be possessive about that person. You would care for him. And you would depend on him and want him to depend on you. But, in addition to being possessive, you will also need to set the person free and trust that the person does not go against your will. If you dont set him free, there would be suffocation in the relationship and both u and ur love would feel sad. And if the person goes against what you want him to do or does something wrong, you will need to understand why? If two people love each other their “love” should become stronger with each fight/misunderstanding they have. Since with each such situation, they would come closer and their understanding about each other will improve. And ideally there should be no place for “ego” in love.
Though there are people who become “deewana/deewani” in love. They have a sense of self sacrifice. To die/give up everything for someone they “love”. To bear the pain and sorrow just to see that the one they “love” is happy. This, i believe is also “love”.
I m thru… Let me know your ideas…